Paris, Los Angeles celebrate winning rights to host debt-inducing ruinous sports event

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LIMA, PERU – The cities of Paris and Los Angeles held public celebrations Wednesday at a decision awarding them an incredibly wasteful, debt-inducing, and ultimately ruinous sports event in 2024 and 2028, respectively.

The event, having a proven track record of exploited labor, overspending, and environmental destruction – all to celebrate performances by athletes fueled by performance-enhancing drugs and sex – has not proven to be beneficial for profit, tourism, or even public image.



When asked about the event, those at the celebrations expressed overwhelming excitement.

“I’m just really really happy,” a tourist in Paris told us. “We’re all drinking wine out here, celebrating this day for Paris and what it will bring to them and the world.”

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