Opinion: Warning! Douchebags are everywhere, not just in America

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By Jessica Box, staff reporter

I wish Giovanni would kiss me.

That’s the first sentence of Eat, Pray, Love. Can we blame Elizabeth Gilbert for writing that? No – I mean, I want Giovanni to kiss me too, and I don’t even know anyone named Giovanni.

Any American girl – including Lizzy McGuire – can be lured into falling for a foreign man. Yes, their accents are irresistible, their hair dark, their demeanor sexy. But – as Lizzy would tell us – don’t be fooled. I can tell you from experience. They are probably lying, whatever they are saying.

I was naive enough to think that men would be different overseas. That place would change everything, that they wouldn’t be like the Americans who let us down – selfish, deceptive, and, ultimately, cruel. But it turns out men are the same no matter where they are from.

There are friends of mine who are in happy relationships with foreigners. I am happy for them. But I have to really wonder what’s wrong with me, that I can’t do the same.

I said in a previous post that I’ve had quite a few lovers-from-abroad myself. But has it ever worked out for me? No. And after much introspection, I do not think that is because of me and my problems.

It is definitely because of that smelly, self-consumed species, and their problems. An inability to commit. An inability to keep their eyes focused. An inability to truly love.

Don’t be fooled by an attractive bone structure or an alluring English accent. Men abroad are just like the ones in America.

On the one hand, I love them, and I hope I find one who I can build a life with. On the other hand, after all that I’ve been through, I don’t think that will ever happen. They are all douchebags – whether they are from Indiana or Italy.

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