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Fifth-grader a fucking know-it-all with countries, capitals

  HOUSTON – After a few months in geography class, local fifth-grader Amy Thompson has become an annoying little shit in regards to naming countries and capitals, friends and relatives say. “What’s the capital of Liberia? Oh, you donR... More »


Crazy mail-order bride arrived with no return address

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Upon reviewing the documentation that arrived with his mail-order bride from Thailand, local man Vernon Harris reportedly became frustrated Monday when he discovered that she came with no return address. “I’m looking for it,... More »


Report: U.S. meddled in foreign elections, all of them

BERLIN – A new report set to be released this week by journalists in Berlin presents evidence that the United States has meddled – through illegal funding, the spreading of propaganda, and other means – in foreign elections across the world, ... More »


Survey: Majority of Lonely Planet guidebooks used as toilet paper

WASHINGTON – A new report by the U.S. Institute of Foreign and Domestic Travel (USIFDT) shows that the majoring of Lonely Planet guidebooks are used by travelers as toilet paper. When surveyed by USIFDT, 78% of travelers who brought a Lonely Planet guide... More »


ISIS claims responsibility for Timmy’s playground punch of Mike

PORTLAND, Ore. – After Timmy Gilbert punched classmate Mikey Rollins on the playground Wednesday, ISIS took to social media to claim responsibility. An ISIS account claimed Timmy’s punch of Mike was done out of a devotion for Allah and the Islamic ... More »


Report: World map best read with cup of coffee

WASHINGTON – A report released today confirms that world maps – whether on a wall or in an atlas or stretched out across the dining room table – are best read with a piping hot cup of joe. “Data clearly shows that when reading a world m... More »


Museum’s propaganda mistaken as history

SEOUL – The exhibits of South Korea’s War Memorial museum were mistakenly seen as a depiction of historically accurate events rather than the national propaganda they actually are during a visit by American Rob Brooks today, International Informer ... More »