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American slyly hiding passport as though everyone out to steal it

BERLIN – Under the assumption that the cunning foreigners around him sought to get to America, or become an American, any way they possibly could, U.S. citizen Jeffrey Walters kept his passport under firm grip today while in Berlin’s Schönefeld air... More »

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Merkel celebrates election victory by sleeping in until 5 AM

BERLIN – Angela Merkel, after winning a fourth term as chancellor of Germany and leader of the free world, reportedly afforded herself the luxury to sleep in until 5 am, skipping her usual 4 am wake up call to waste an hour in celebratory sleep.  Me... More »

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Dollar stares down euro in clash at currency summit

PARIS – The U.S. dollar was seen staring down the euro Wednesday at the Global Currency Summit at Fontainebleau amid a closening exchange rate. The dollar, dressed in its classic green as the currencies took a stroll outside the meeting hall, was seen st... More »

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American struggles to get into first gear

MUNICH – American tourist and first-time car renter abroad Keith West struggled to get into first gear last week as he was exiting the rental lot, almost burning out the transmission, local onlookers reported. Eventually, he was able to get it into first... More »